How the Hundreds in the Corners Forever Altered the Game of Skeeball

August 4, 2009 | By | 1 Comment

How they forever altered the game that I love.

I have to tell you that the worst thing the skeeball people ever did was to put those hundreds in the corner.  This was an egregious thing that they did, and I will tell you why.

First of all, it used to be that a score of 300 or more meant something.  Now, you just need one ball to accidentally land in the 100 spot and you are almost there.  This leads to the second problem.  The stats are all messed up. Should you aim for the 50’s in the middle or 100’s in the corner?  Nobody even knows what a good score is anymore.  Even the people handing out the prizes don’t know how many erasers and tootsie rolls to reward.  Everybody is confused. As a matter of fact, I’m so confused that I don’t even know what I’m trying to say anymore.  Aren’t you confused reading this right now?  I told you.

It’s like the problem of steroids in baseball times 10.  Are inflated stats good for the game of skeeball?  Is not knowing where to aim good for the game of skeeball?  Are either of things things good for the game of skeeball?  The answer is “NO“.  In case I haven’t already, let me make myself clear:  NEITHER OF THESE THINGS ARE GOOD FOR THE GAME OF SKEEBALL!

In regards to the lingering aiming question, let’s just be real now and agree that you are forced to take aim at the corners if you want to have any type of success.  This is a crime to 16th degree.

Let me use a comparison to make my point clear.  Let’s imagine that you are playing darts.  However, the tacks upon which the dartboard hangs are now worth 40 points. Do you even see what is going on here? The rest of the dartboard has essentially been rendered useless.  The entire game has changed.

Because the tacks are worth 40 points, the bulls-eye has lost 50% of it’s value. Are you still as excited about hitting that bulls-eye or have you given up trying to hit the bulls-eye altogether?  By now, you’re just going for the tack.  The tack has become the new bulls-eye.  Can you see how absurd this has become?  You laugh now, folks, but the slippery slope is in full effect.  It’s just a matter of time before archers are aiming at ankles and riflemen are taking shots at earlobes.  This, too, is a chasing after the wind and a most grievous evil.

What do you say then?  Do you label me a purist?  Do you think I need to “get with the times, Grandpa?”  Well, all I can say to these people is that they are off center.  They don’t understand inflation and they are way out of line.

It’s high time that they get their ducks in a row.

P.S. Don’t you love how the format of this post reads like one of those credit card offers in the mail? I don’t. As a matter of fact, I went to proofread the thing and gave up after I started developing headaches.

The hundreds in all (none) of their glory.

The hundreds in all (none) of their glory.

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  1. Wendy says:

    First just let me say that Skeeball is the greatest game EVER. If I could have my very own Skeeball game in my bonus room, my life would be complete.

    That being said, those stupid little 100 cups are a travesty. I have a system for the “real” Skeeball game. Those added targets are just there to try to throw off my game. My solution? Play on the real games only. But if I just need to get my Skeeball on and the only machines around are the evil incarnate ones, I’ll play on them. But I’ll totally act like those 100’s aren’t even there. So there, evil 100’s! I ignore you and your evil lure of more points. You’re dead to me.

    .-= Wendy´s last blog ..Hope giggles. =-.

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