This kid buried his head on my shoulder. He was fast asleep. On the jet airplane. I wanted to say, “Hey brother, your father is on the other side.” But little Mexican boy was much too young to be my brother. Still, I wanted to say “brother”, as if I […]
I remember the time I first saw your face I remember your smile I remember your grace I remember your sweetness I remember your glow I remember everything about you I couldn’t wait to know Why did you let things get in the way? You were always so busy and […]
Mary had a little lamb, Her face displayed a glow For there was a great big need, The naked needed clothes Mary had a gentle lamb, Raised to take our blows And everywhere the Father led, The lamb was sure to go Unto the shearer He was led, Slaughtered on […]
Tell me a story Please tell it soon Give it some conflict And a hero or two Tell me a story I must know the end Of battles gone by, and boys grown to men Tell me a story Tell it with grace Make it so grand And yet commonplace […]
A beautiful night on an autumn eve, Your heart is full of make believe But you can’t touch the sky… There’s a new girl in my life, Five months old with big little eyes I don’t live near But we’ll always be close And I’m going to see her soon […]
He’s a little bit different, he’s a little bit weird He’s a little naïve, but he’s really sincere He’s a little bit awkward, and a little bit shy He can’t find the words, but he’s a really good guy He sees her in the distance, he can’t look away She […]
My first awareness of change within me came as I began to reflect on how I performed the mundane responsibilities from which I felt so alienated. Though I was not completely alive to them, I was able at least to think about them, if only from a distance. I was struck by how wonderfully ordinary life is. Simply being alive became holy to me. As I saw myself typing exams, chatting with a student on the way to class, or tucking one of my children into bed, I sensed I was beholding something sacred. My encounters with students presented astonishing opportunities to listen and encourage. Bedtime with Catherine, David, and John allowed me to convey the blessing and love of God to them. I was not yet fully alive to these ordinary moments, but I began to glimpse how profound they were.
In other words, though I experienced death, I also experienced life in ways that I never thought possible before – not after the darkness, as we might suppose, but in the darkness. I did not go through pain and come out the other side; instead, I lived in it and found within that pain the grace to survive and eventually grow. I did not get over the loss of my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life, like soil receives decaying matter, until it became a part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it. I learned gradually that the deeper we plunge into suffering, the deeper we can enter a new, and different, life – a life no worse than before and sometimes better. A willingness to face the loss and to enter into the darkness is the first step we must take. Like all first steps, it is probably the most difficult and takes the most time.
– Gerald L. Sittser, loser of his mother, wife and daughter in a car accident with a drunken driven. Taken from his book: A Grace Disguised: How the Soul Grows Through Loss.
