Category: Quotes

Time is fun when you’re having flies. – Kermit the Frog

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Working the System

I saw a sign at a gas station. It said ‘help wanted’. There was another sign below it that said ‘self service’. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid myself. Then I quit.

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I got a dog and named him ‘Stay’. Now, I go ‘Come here, Stay!’ After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn’t move at all.

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The farmers are out-standing in their field.

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Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

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I am grateful for all those dark years, even though in retrospect they seem like a long, bitter prayer that was answered finally. – Marilynne Robinson, Gilead

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling? – Scott Adams

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