Tribute to my Father

Eulogy for Paul Anthony Lamberti (December 30, 1944 to October 18, 2023). Love you, Dad.

I collected all the things people wrote about my father after he passed. Then, I put them into one of those word counters. The word most used to describe my father was “kind”. Next, was “wonderful”. After that came “gentle”, “sweet”, and “loving”. Then, “amazing”, “great”, and “special”. Then “caring”, “thoughtful” and “Godly”.

People wrote about his radiant smile. One person said he was one of the best persons they’d ever met. Another said he was one of the nicest persons they’d encountered. One person commented there weren’t enough superlatives to describe him. Someone else wrote “I love that man. I feel like your dad touched everyone he met.” Someone else similarly said in reference to my father, “Some people touch your life in a way you can’t describe.”

There are so many qualities that defined him. Humble, kind, genuine. As my mother put it, “He was the best. He was the best of the best.” The one that I always came back to was good. He was a good man. I used to tell him that all the time. I would say, “you are a good guy, Dad.” He used to respond to me with the words of Jesus from Mark 10:18: “Why do you call me good? No one is good except God alone.”

After awhile I realized he would never accept me calling him good. So, to save all that trouble, I just started calling him “OK”. I would say to him, “You’re an OK guy, Dad.” And he was much more comfortable with that.

And I had to really think – what can I say to my father that he will accept? I knew he wouldn’t accept it if I called him the best father in the world. So, instead I would tell him, “You’re the best father I’ve ever had.” He was OK with that too.

I used to ask him too, “Are you my buddy?” After answering “yes” to this about a thousand times a week, he finally said one time: “Of course I’m your buddy. You don’t even have to ask.” So, from then on I started saying to him, “You’re my buddy dad.” And he was my buddy. My father, mother and I did everything together. One day toward the end, I saw a quote from Morrie Schwartz that said, “Death ends a life, not a relationship. All the love you created is still there.” So then, I changed it to, “You will always be my buddy, Dad.” I had no idea he would pass away so shortly afterward.

Despite all his wonderful qualities, I’m not sure he had even the faintest clue how much he meant to those he came in contact with. The scripture that comes to my mind when I think about him is Isaiah 66:2 which says, “This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, who trembles at My word.” As Jesus put it, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Despite his abundance of wonderful qualities, he knew that he was a sinner in need of a savior. And he was so thankful for God’s mercy and grace.

There is a book by Eugene Peterson titled “A Long Obedience in the Same Direction.” I’d give you some quotes from the book, but I can’t because I haven’t read it. But the title was the very definition of my father. From the time I was a baby to the time my father passed away, he was a model of faithful devotion. When I was a toddler, I used to come downstairs early and find him and sit on his lap as he read the Bible. When I was old and somehow managed to get up early I’d find him reading his Bible. He was always hungry for God.

Something I wrote about my father fifteen years ago had this paragraph: “You taught me so many things, but the best thing you did for me is model what it means to love God, how to seek Him, what it means to be desperate for Him, and how to persevere when nothing goes right. Simple, pure, and genuine faith and desire for your King. I picture you like Jacob, worshiping God in his old age as he leaned on the top of his staff (Genesis 47:31). Loving God with all your strength, right to the very end.

The last couple years it was one thing after another in terms of his mind and body breaking down. He did everything in his power to get well. Despite all the suffering he went through, he never changed. Through it all he was same kind, gentle, loving person. He was faithful and he was grateful. He worshipped God while using his cane. He worshiped God while using his walker. He worshipped God when he could hardly move in his hospital bed. He praised the Lord even though he no longer knew what day, month or year it was or the steps to putting on a T-shirt. He listened to the worship song we put in the slideshow and would weep because he was so thankful for what God had done for him.

There is a quote by German theologian Meister Eckhart that says, “God is at home. We are in the far country.” And the Apostle Paul said, “I would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” My father was good, he was humble and he was faithful. He had my deepest love, admiration and affection. He meant the world to me and was the best man I’ve ever known. I am going to miss him more than I could ever express. But now he is home.

Category: Musings