Butter Crunch Ice Cream

I will now give you some diet advice free of charge. But first, a quick story.

It used to be that I got a Butter Crunch ice cream on the way to the gym every other week or so. Then, it became once or twice a week. Then, three or four times a week. Then, pretty much every day.

Spending so much time at the ice cream stand gave me the opportunity to study the menu closely each time as I waited for my ice cream. After many days, I realized that they sell other things besides Butter Crunch ice cream. I know what you’re thinking right now: “What could be better than Butter Crunch ice cream?” Well, after examining the menu I came to see that they also sell Butter Crunch ice cream sundaes!

The next day, rather than getting my usual Butter Crunch ice cream, I leveled up to the new pinnacle of ice cream existence – the Butter Crunch ice cream sundae. On top of the butter candy ice cream, there was whipped cream, butterscotch, and butterfingers. Butter heaven!

I once again know what you’re thinking right now: “This story is a lot longer than you promised and I’m leaving posthaste for my buttery treat.” Not so fast. It was simply…not good. There was so much butterscotch, I wanted to puke. It was even more sugary tasting than that Coldstone Creamery place. In short, I hated it and haven’t had Butter Crunch ice cream since.

As Nolan Ryan once remarked, “”Every hitter likes fastballs just like everybody likes ice cream. But you don’t like it when someone’s stuffing it into you by the gallon.” What is it you really like? Pizza? Have 10 pizzas tonight! I promise you won’t want pizza for awhile! You like Chinese food? Order a dozen Pu-Pu Platters and go to town! You want some chocolate malt balls? Buy all the boxes of malt balls in the store and eat them in one sitting. You’ll want to spend some time away from those Whoppers afterward – I promise! And, if your problem is Butter Crunch ice cream – just go to the Butter Crunch ice cream sundae. Why? Because too much of a good thing can be absolutely disgusting. 

Category: Musings