A Break from Vacation

Over a year ago, I left my finance job to move to Texas. I needed adventure. I needed a break. I needed some change. The day after my last day, Lehman Brothers collapsed and took the industry with it. I haven’t had a job since. After running out of money, I moved back home.

Due to the timing of the moves, I haven’t experienced extreme hot or cold temperatures for over 18 months. I have played in multiple basketball and softball leagues. I have eaten steaks with sea salt, cucumbers with vinegar and pasta with shredded cheese. I have read all the books I’ve wanted to read and some books I’ve really wanted to read. I have watched enough football to make my eyes bleed. I have never been so organized. I have gotten into very good physical condition. I have finished everything I needed to get done.

For over a year, my life has been a weekend that never came to a close. It’s sort of like eating ice cream for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Or manna. Sometimes, I just cry out for quail.

I’m not as worried about the upcoming winter this year. I’m looking forward to experiencing cold and shoveling snow. I’ve never been one to cut or injure myself, but maybe it will help me to feel again. I don’t know what it is exactly I’m trying to feel, but I think I’m trying to feel like a man. Taking out the trash every week isn’t getting it done.

In the meantime, my life is the movie “Groundhog Day”. It is an exercise in gratitude, trust and patience. I have struggled, but my teacher says I’m improving. One of these days, I’m hoping to pass.

Category: Musings