I graduated from a theological seminary after college. Over the years, I’ve found that I’ve missed my fellow classmates at the seminary more than I thought I would. Yeah, some of the people were a little different, but I have a thing for quirky people. Also, everyone there was so nice. Even in passing, they always called me by my first name – regardless of how well I knew them. It’s kind of a small thing, but not really when you think about how much people in the Northeast typically ignore others in public. I’ve even had dreams where I was going through a hard time and people at the school were comforting me. It’s like all the affection lingered in my subconscious (<- I studied counseling).

If I had to give one knock on the place, it would be that some of the students were a little too eager to show off their knowledge. Sometimes, it felt like a twisted game of academic one-upsmanship. As Paul put, knowledge puffs up while love builds up (1 Corinthians 8:1). It’s no wonder that Jesus gave such severe warnings about becoming like the Pharisees – it’s such an easy trap to fall into.

Well, they had these “coffee house” things once a semester or so.  It was kind of like a talent show, but there were no winners. Some people did skits, others sang songs, and some people read poetry. There are a few performances that stuck with me most over the years – like the guy who sang this song below.  He was one of those guys whom I initially thought might have missed the point of it all with his academic pursuit. However, as he sang this simple song of praise and thanks, his heart shone through. It made me realize how you can think you know someone and be dead wrong and how it was possible that I was actually wrong in my evaluation of some of those kids.

But, that really isn’t the point of this post. The point is, I love this song  (and this blog is all about sharing things that I love).

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.

In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

- 1 Peter 1: 3-9

Relationships are complicated things – especially those conducted through a time warp.  Here are 4 women for whom I would gladly turn back the clock with a love that transcends time.

Olivia Newton-John in 1978. Oh my sweet goodness, my! I’ll never forget that summer night in 1997 when I first saw the movie “Grease”. Rather, I didn’t really see the movie. I saw Olivia Newton-John. Right away, I knew I was going to marry her. The only problem is that I was under 20 and she was 50. Summer dreams were ripped at the seams all right.

Stevie Nicks in 1981. Stevie is killing it in this video. I mean absolutely killing it. The thing is, I doubt she even knows that she is being taped. She’s not even trying. It’s so beautiful, it’s painful really. According to my math, Stevie was 33 at the time of this impromptu performance in 1981. Older than me, but not too bad! Time to brush off the flux capacitor and disrupt the space-time continuum. Stevie, let’s get married!

Oldest daughter from the movie “The Sound of Music” in 1965. Liesl, if I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times – that guy Rolf is no good for you and kind of a punk! I know what happens between you two and want to save you a lot of heartache. Why don’t you drop that zero and get with a hero? We could sing about our favorite things together! If it were 1965 and we were in a relationship, I’m pretty sure my favorite thing would be you (and bunnies and anything colored pink)!

Tiffany in 1987. This one I had to talk myself into a little bit more, but I still think it could work. First of all, she dated Jonathan Knight back in the day. So, we know she has good taste in men. Second, she has great taste in music. If you’re going to remake a song, this is an excellent choice. Third, she has cool earrings and I think I could hang with her dancing wise. We could even teach each other new moves.

What do you think? How about you?

Does anyone else remember those Sally Struther International Correspondence Schools commercials where she ran through a list of degrees which you could pursue from the comfort of your own home? Was I the only 10 year-old who really wanted to go for the TV/VCR repair? Sally made it sound so appealing.

Well, after all these years, I decided that it was finally time to give it a go. I called the number Sally provided and it kept ringing and ringing. There wasn’t even an answering machine message! Don’t ever believe anybody when they say it isn’t too late to follow your dreams – especially when they also tell you that operators are standing by.

Watson has lots in common with a top-ranked human Jeopardy! player: It’s very smart, very fast, speaks in an uneven monotone, and has never known the touch of a woman. -Ken Jennings (ht: Ben S.)

People always say that women are hard to figure out. I even touched on it in this post. While this may be true for your average lay person, I’ve examined all the data, and, after hours of contemplation, have discovered the secret ingredient to understanding women. In this post I share my knowledge.

We need to start our analysis by taking a look at what women like. From here, we must determine why they like what they do. If we can do this accurately, we will have come a long way in our journey to understanding over one half of the human race.

#1) Women LOVE “Anne of Green Gables”. It’s a verifiable fact. They remember everything about the show in the most intimate details.

Here is what I remember:

a) Some dude bakes a pound cake for like a bake sale or craft fair or something
b) Someone gives a speech that gets a standing ovation.
c) The boys had funny and overly proper names like Frederick or something like that.
d) There is a lot of green grass.

That’s it. However, ask any girl in her late 20′s to early 30′s about it and she could probably tell you Anne’s favorite toothpaste flavor, how she likes her eggs and her second cousin’s middle name. Obviously, something deeper is going on here.

#2) Women in their late 20′s to early 30′s LOVE “Little House on the Prairie”.  They just do. They even like to reenact the opening scene by tumbling down rolling hills. But why? Knowing the answer would be like getting a key to Fort Knox.

This brings me to my next, and perhaps less obvious observation.

#3) Women in their late 20′s to early 30′s LOVE horses! How do I know this? Let me let you in on a little secret. About 5 years ago, I tried eHarmony. Every single girl I got paired up with was standing next to a horse in her profile picture. Now, I’m no statistician, but this by no means a random occurrence. I don’t recall saying anything about having a love for farm animals in the questionaire. As a matter of fact, I did a google image search for “the soul of a woman” and counted 9 pictures of horses before getting to the “show more results” button. That’s just crazy.

My conclusion: Girls love Anne of Green Gables, Little House on the Prairie and horses (I’m not sure what order).  You might be saying to yourself “uh, Mark, no duh?” Get ready, though, because I am about to pull the rug right out from underneath you. There is a theme that runs through each of these phenomena. What is it, you ask? The common denominator here is open meadows.

But why do girls love open meadows? I’m still working on that one. I don’t have the answer just yet. But when I do, I’m pretty sure I’ll have it all figured out.

Tonight, I celebrate my love for you (blog reader).  On this day of love, I found it in my heart to bring you a song, story, sap and scripture.

Truly:

First off, it’s not quite N-K-O-T-B-S-B, but whatever. Happy Valentine’s Day from these guys and me (ht: Amber Carter).

Madly:

Next, here is a Valentine’s story from author Jonathan Roger’s blog sure to make you mad or sad or perhaps some other more complex combination of primal emotions.  By the way, Mr. Roger’s blog happens to be one of my favorite blogs on the Internet. It’s just a shame that he doesn’t have more readers (take this profound post for example, which somehow only drew one comment?) Consider this section a huge endorsement for Jonathan Rogers. Follow his blog, and, like a first grade classmate who told you to untuck your shirt in order to hide the accidental wiz in your pants, you’ll be thanking me for years to come.

Deeply:

I’m not ashamed to admit that my eyes welled up after watching this next video. And, if you read this quote from Freddy Buechner, you might agree that this next clip says as much about God as it does DeSean Jackson:

You never know what may cause tears. The sight of the Atlantic Ocean can do it, or a piece of music, or a face you’ve never seen before. A pair of somebody’s old shoes can do it. Almost any movie made before the great sadness that came over the world after the Second World War, a horse cantering across a meadow, the high school basketball team running out onto the gym floor at the start of a game. You can never be sure. But of this you can be sure. Whenever you find tears in your eyes, especially unexpected tears, it is well to pay the closest attention.

They are not only telling you something about the secret of who you are, but more often than not God is speaking to you through them of the mystery of where you have come from and is summoning you to where, if your soul is to be saved, you should go next.

This boy’s face at the one minute and twenty-eight second mark is the most wonderful thing I have seen in a long time.

Finally, since we’re on on the subject of love and tears, here is a parting scripture from the 21st chapter of the book of Revelation. It also happens to be one of my favorite quotes not only in the Bible, but also in the whole world. Afterward, on that same topic, is perhaps my most favorite song in the world. I suppose it is only fitting.

Then I saw “a new heaven and a new earth,” for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

About a month ago, when I was taking some time off work, I signed up for a free trial of streaming Netflix. Wanting to know what the buzz was all about, I started watching the first season of Lost. A week and a half and 121.5 hours later, I finished the last episode of the final season. Regardless of what I thought about the show, it felt nice to no longer be in the dark about something that many people had been talking about for years.

It makes me wonder about what else I might be missing out on. What book have I not read that might change my life? What movie have I not seen that I would think about for years? What musician have I not heard whom I could connect with like few others?

Thankfully, there are people who, when they experience something enriching, spread the word. This is exactly what happened about a year ago, when I got the recommendation to check out Patty Griffin.

I’ve only really listened to her 1,000 Kisses CD, which is okay because I’m pretty sure it’s her best. Below is a video of her singing one of my favorite songs from that album.

It’s a simple song, really. Once it hits the chorus, you don’t have to guess what her point is. It is surprising that a song without any mystery could be so good. But maybe what sets this song apart so much is how it cuts through all the bravado and so poignantly makes a request that nearly everyone has at their core. And maybe this song isn’t as simple as it first appears. The tender vulnerability from which it is sung puts on full display something of what it means to be be fearfully and wonderfully made.

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life… don’t be a sports fan. It’s a losing proposition. Take football for example. There are 32 teams in the NFL. Of those teams, do you know how many win each year? One. Yes, that is all. So, you have a 1 out of 32 chance of ending the year happy. That is a little over 3%.  Perversely, the better your team does, the more it will hurt if they lose in later rounds. To top it off, the joy you get from winning is a lot less than the pain from losing.  Even if you do win, the feelings of happiness won’t last long. Like Heath Bar (trademark symbol) ice cream, you will soon want more.

The closest thing I can compare this to is being on The Bachelor(ette). It’s just a bad, bad idea. Again, your odds of losing are greater than your odds of winning. Much, much greater. You have a greater chance of falling in love with the girl, getting the boot and then watching her make out with dozens of other guys. Does that sound like fun to you? To me, the answer is no.  Probably not. Even if you do “win”, the relationship likely won’t last long. Finally, think of where that girl’s mouth has been. You’re not just kissing her, you’re kissing 2/3rds of the other contestants. The exception is if she uses a powerful mouthwash, which is a good idea regardless of the situation. Be sure to check the labels in these situations.  Maybe even pick up a Consumer Report.

Still, I am happy for the Packers fans. This year, they are in the 3% that gets to be happy for a little while. Because I cannot personally be happy, I will be happy for them. To celebrate, I will pour this bottle of orange Gatorade over my head. I’m also going to get some mouthwash for my future wife.  Just in case.

Lest all my references to the 80′s make people think this blog is anything less than cutting-edge, I’m here to supply some facts on the moy (man/boy) known simply as “Bieber” and his impact on social media.

• Two of the top ten most viewed videos on YouTube right now are Bieber songs (masterpieces?)
• “Baby” has more than 451 million views and “One Time” has over 213 million.
• The girl in the “One Time” video (Kristen Leanne ‘Rodeheaver’) has 66 thousand twitter followers and 8 thousand “likes” on her Facebook page.
• The intro to Kristen’s Facebook page says, “Hey guys, so you might know me from Justin Bieber’s music video, ‘One Time.’”
• So, we pretty much know that this is her only reason for having an obscene amount of followers.
• We don’t know why her last name is “Rodeheaver” or why it is in quotations on her page.
• Nonetheless, we really like it and think it is the same name as the pitcher in the movie “Rookie of the Year”.
• We also like her watch on her wrist in the video below.
• When I say “we”, I am really talking about “me” or “I”.  There is only really one of “us”.
• “Bieber” has close to 7 million followers on Twitter.
• That is almost a quarter the population of Canada (33,739,900).
• “I” was 6,966,568.

I was curious about how cold it has been lately and decided to check the temperature.  I never really did get my answer.