Wisdom From Jon

Editors Note: Everything I know in life I learned from Jon H. He is the man! He even has his own fanclub on facebook.

On love:

me: i’m all out of love
me: i’m so lost without you

On passion:

me: i found my new passion in life
Jon: what’s her name?
me: youtube uploads
Jon: yeah?
me: making my own video!
me: it’s great! it’s wonderfully vain
Jon: so what you’re really saying is that you are your new passion
me: i love myself

me: hello?
me: I was talking to some girls and they told me that they wanted your body.
Jon: you are crazy

On encouragement:

me: Jon H.
Jon: Lamberti
me: tell me something that will make me feel good
Jon: You are big chunk of manliness

On motherhood:

me: word to your mother.

On Tom Brady:

me: he’s down, he’s down
me: Brady is hurt.

On the Pat’s loss in the Superbowl:

me: Didn’t we almost have it all
me: When love was all we had worth giving?
me: The ride with you was worth the fall my friend
me: Loving you makes life worth living
me: Didn’t we almost have it all
me: The night we held on till the morning
me: You know you’ll never love that way again
me: Didn’t we almost have it all?
Jon: Mark
Jon: this is inappropriate
me: ?
me: how so
Jon: I’m just saying

On living wildly:

me: you’re so wild at heart

On the meaning of life:

me: Jon H.

On deciding a name for a football team:

me: HeHateMe
me: We’ve never heard of you either
me: “Cross” trainers
me: Bunch of Flags
me: My vote is for Cambridge Red Lines. Second place would be “Matt Light sucks and so do you” (sucks being in reference to the other team).

On not replying to my g-chats:

me: is this some sort of game for you?

On jealousy:

Jon: not true
Jon: you’re just being the amazingly humble guy that you are
Jon: that’s what they like so much
me: it’s always “jon h this” and “jon h that”
me: i pride myself on being humble
Jon: they wanted to wake you up, but I wouldn’t let them
Jon: knowing that I wouldn’t stand a chance next to you clever wit
me: you truly are a great friend
Jon: and charmingly grand stature
me: grand stature?
me: are you calling me fat again?
Jon: no no!!

On Jon:

me: jon h.
me: is so fine, i’d drink a tub of his bathwater

On being “the man”:

Jon: you are the man
me: what? me?
Jon: yeah, you are
me: i learned it by watching you

On the GRE’s:

me: you’ll always be a 750 in my book

On being apart from Jon:

me: the nights are long and the days are so sad
me: and i just keep thinking about the love that we had
me: and i’m missing you
me: and nobody knows it but me
Jon: That was very poetic

On dates that don’t work out and books that don’t sell:

Jon: low key, yet classy
me: haha
me: i’m nervous buddy!
Jon: don’t be
Jon: you’ve got charm
Jon: and GUTS
Jon: you are the man, in my book
me: is that a bestseller?
Jon: it will be

On Nate P:

me: i just noticed that somebody put something up on my door
me: have you seen it? i think it was nate because he always spells my name with a “c”
Jon: Nate did that
Jon: oh, as in Marc
me: yes
me: is that french or something?
Jon: no idea

On work:

me: you’re the man jon h.
Jon: no no I just work for the man
me: i always thought that was a funny expression
me: who is this “man” that everyone is working for?
Jon: Jesus

On forgiveness of debts:

me: i owe you postage
me: do you accept paypal?
Jon: Mark, you don’t owe me anything but love.

On women:

me: you’re a smart man
me: tell me what i should do
me: admonish me with all wisdom
Jon: I don’t know, man
Jon: women are beyond wisdom
me: that’s it?
Jon: sorry, they don’t make sense
Jon: it’s a verifiable fact

On being a good friend:

me: Jon H.
Jon: Lamberti
me: i need your prayer
Jon: for what?
me: i’m stressed and tired
me: and i’ve been at work trying to study
me: and i’m just looking at words
Jon: sorry Mark
me: and i’m already way behind on schedule
me: and i’ve been eating aweful
Jon: I’m sorry Mark.
me: and overwhelmed
Jon: oh man
Jon: sounds like a lot
me: and old
Jon: you’re not old
Jon: I’m sorry Mark
Jon: you’re a stud
me: i’m too tired to go home
me: or the gym
me: so i’m sitting here
me: collecting the energy to walk to the train
me: and checking email
me: even though i don’t have any email to check
me: but maybe i will get a new message
me: and i’m losing my mind (as you can tell)
me: i have gathered the energy to walk to the train
me: i will see you later
Jon: see you later, superstudmuffinman

An ode to Jon:

me: u r my hero
Jon: you’re everything I wish I could be
me: i could fly higher than an eagle
Jon: but you are the wind beneath my wings
me: I would be nothing without you

me: JHF
Jon: JHF?
me: Jon H. Forever
Jon: that’s what I thought
Jon: how nice, Mark
me: yes, thank you