Ms. Rogers Neighborhood

Editors Note: Ms. Rogers told me about a church in Frisco called Stonebriar. I live in Texas and don’t know why she is recommending churches in California.

A: did you know…mr. rogers is my dad. he wrote that song….
me: what?
me: that’s crazy!
A: yeah.
A: i know.
me: isn’t he a bit old to be your father?
A: he’s no longer with us actually.
me: do you know what mr. rogers did to children who lied?
A: what?
me: i have no idea
me: what year did your father die?
A: i can’t remember…but i know i cried when he died. it was a sad sad day
me: did you grow up in pittsburg?
A: okay…i confess.
me: are you still living in the land of make believe?
A: he’s not my dad.
A: technically
A: my last name isn’t really rogers.
A: i’ve been living a lie my whole life.
me: for a second there i thought we were related
me: he is my uncle
A: thank goodness we’re not related!
me: thank goodness?
me: who is goodness and why are you thanking him?

A: do you know there is a new study about multi tasking…it doesn’t make you as productive as you imagine.
A: it takes your brain too long to switch back and forth.
me: there is another new study about snickers bars
me: if you eat a lot of them, they make you fat
me: (not you, but people in general)
A: no way! i just ate three of them for lunch…is that a problem?
me: i’m not at liberty to say
A: way to be diplomatic
me: before you go, let me ask you a question
A: shoot
me: won’t you be my neighbor?
A: of course. would you be mine?
me: i will be your neighbor
A: thanks…i can now get thru the rest of my day.
me: just call my name.. and i’ll be there.
A: you’ve turned into jackson 5!
me: i thought that was mariah carey
A: if your mask was pulled of (ala scooby doo style) would it reveal michael jacskon?
me: oh dear
A: b.c he really shouldn’t be working with mschoolers…
me: i’m not at liberty to say
A: your token response today…
me: won’t you be my neighbor?
A: i’m not at liberty to say
me:i better go before i get fired
A: we’d hate for that to happen.
me: it might not be the worst thing that ever happened, but probably isn’t a good idea

A: maybe 22? i’m flattered.
me: i am only 23 btw
A: pretty mature for a 23 yr old. haha!
me: ok, i lied
me: i’m really only 22
A: then how do you explain your knowledge of gilligans island and mr magoo?
A: or the revelation that you’re dating yourself?
me: i owe it all to the magic of re-runs and you have to date someone
A: nick at nite?
me: tvland
A: they had cable in NH?
me: wow
me: that hurts me
A: i apologize for the mass generalization.
me: they were nh generalizations
me: or were they mass generalizations too?
me: because we are a kind and forgiving people i will offer my other guy to be gouged out.
me: make that my other cheek
A: that’s a little graphic, mark. not sure what that even means but please don’t gouge out any cheeks!

me: I just told *censored* that you said that you think she smells funny
me: i don’t think she liked that
A: lying is not very becoming, makr
A: er mark.
me: i don’t know what that expression means
me: should lying be going?
A: I must be going.