An Exclusive Interview

Editors Note:  This interview was saved at a time when the band Albino Funk was flourishing and everybody was knocking at their door to get an autograph or just for a chance at a glimpse of any member of this ever-popular band.  Sadly, however, they soon broke up and Albino Funk is now no longer.  I had a chance to catch up with Rob, the lead vocalist before this tragedy occured, here is what he had to say:

Krambis1: so rob… or should i call you albie?
Roberrrrrt: I prefer Carl Jones.
Krambis1: ok Carl, so how long have you been involved in this band, Albinofunk I believe it is called?
Roberrrrrt: Actually it’s two words…Albino Funk. I’ve been in it since…oh…about October of 1996.
Krambis1: too bad it wasn’t late december back in 63
Krambis1: what a lady what a night
Roberrrrrt: December would have been too cold.
Roberrrrrt: And I wasn’t alive in 1963 either.
Krambis1: Yes that would make it difficult wouldn’t it?
Krambis1: so Carl of Albino (space) funk, what is your role in the band?
Roberrrrrt: Lead vocalist…and guitar.
Roberrrrrt: And that’s a capital F…not lower case.
Krambis1: and how long have you been dabbling in the guitar field
Roberrrrrt: For about 3 years now…but I’ve been Carl Jones for about 6 or 7.
Roberrrrrt: You see, a personality like Carl…needs time…to decide what he wants to do…to do with his life.
Krambis1: i see, and i imagine you’ve been singing ever since childhood?
Roberrrrrt: No…the first song I ever remember singing was as Carl Jones.
Krambis1: and what was the song?
Roberrrrrt: “Little Red Ridding Hood” Can’t remember who it was by though.
Krambis1: it is interesting that you mentioned that, don’t you find the story crude and offensive with underaged child carrying an alcoholic beverage?
Roberrrrrt: I fully promote underaged drinking.
Krambis1: well i see you aren’t only a good singer, but a great role model!
Roberrrrrt: Oh yes…
Roberrrrrt: and an exellent driver as well.
Roberrrrrt: Did you know that an elderly man walking on the side walk is 10 points!
Krambis1: yes, yes, Carl, please be careful…this is a family interview

*Due to technical difficulties, this portion of the interview was lost, please forgive me…I’m firing my web-site intern as we speak*

Krambis1: well, you know what they say don’t you?
Krambis1: thinking is 75% mental, the other 50% is just brains
Roberrrrrt: That makes no sense!
Roberrrrrt: It’s 50% mental…and the other 75% is just brains.
Krambis1: oh darn’t i always get the two confused
Roberrrrrt: Do you think that if the entire country all went outside at the same time at night wearing red t-shirts and all turned on their flash lights…people up in space could see it?
Krambis1: that is enough Carl, besides, i’m asking the questions here
Roberrrrt: than think of it as more of a statement than a question
Krambis1: it makes no sense!
Krambis1: they would have to be wearing yellow t-shirts
Roberrrrrt: As soon as the band gets national attention…I’m going to organize that.
Krambis1: oh yes, getting back to the band, when you expect your first album to be complete?
Roberrrrrt: Well we’re recording Monday the 28th…then we have to mix it…package it…get it all ready…about a week or two after Monday the 28th.
Krambis1: and how much money do you expect this to be?
Roberrrrrt: Apprx. $2-$5…mostly to pay for the costs involved.
Roberrrrrt: Sorry only COD’s, checks, and money orders…and cash.
Krambis1: i thought that visa is everywhere i want to be
Roberrrrrt: I tell you what..just for you Mark…I’ll talk your Visa card.
Krambis1: well, thank you, not everyone can talk to a Visa card
Roberrrrrt: I have a very good relationship with them…we really understand each other.
Krambis1: you are a man of great creditbility
Krambis1: so Carl, is there anything else you would like to share about your band?
Roberrrrrt: Yes…the only way to get these wheels really turning is by the local support…from people buying our tape…and keeping an eye for us and coming to all of the shows they can.
Krambis1: yes, yes, and when he becomes michael jackson and when i become dick clark, you’ll be able to say that you heard of them here first
Roberrrrrt: I will jump into a pool of acid before I am ever compared with Michael Jackson.
Krambis1: oh dear