A lot of people have heard the story about the Chevy Nova having a terrible time selling cars in Spain because “no va” is translated as “doesn’t go”.  Here are some of my other favorites (taken from the article linked below):

• In the mid-1960s, Pepsi’s slogan “Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation” failed to energize Taiwan, as the translation read “Pepsi Brings Your Relatives Back From the Dead”.

• Coors’ campaign “Turn it Loose” went flat in Spain, urging drinkers to “Get Diarrhea”.

• Had Colgate consulted such a firm before launching their toothpaste called Cue in France, customers might have been spared the embarrassment of being presented with a hardcore pornographic magazine when they asked for the product. Turns out the magazine, which shared the name, had been around for years.

• The Scandinavian company Electrolux caused some snickering when its slogan – “Nothing sucks like an Electrolux” – began appearing in marketing literature.

• Gerber had some trouble many years ago when it began marketing its baby food in Africa. The company used the same packaging it did in the US and Europe: a picture of a happy Caucasian baby on the label. It was only later that it discovered that because a large proportion of the population was illiterate, most companies only put pictures of the contents on the label.

• Few had it worse than poultry baron Frank Perdue, though, whose billboards in Spain mistranslated his well-known slogan “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken” to read “It takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate”.

These were taken from this article: http://venturebeat.com/2009/07/20/expanding-abroad-avoid-translation-travesties/

My friend Eric recently lost his sister and put together a tribute video that I felt compelled to post below. This is worth watching.

Eric’s blog can be found here.

Due to some medical issues, I’ve been pretty much out of commission.  It has, however, given me time to get reacquainted with the video game industry after not owning a system since the Sega Genesis.  So far, it has been a very challenging experience.

For one, these games are way too complicated.  There are like 16 buttons.  Can’t we go back to the Genesis control system of “A”, “B” and “C”?  That was really nice.  Even Nintendo was messed up back then.  They had “B” before “A” on their controller. Did that make any sense? No. At least not to me. What were they trying to do? Carve out a niche for dyslexics?

Now, my controller has symbols that I’m supposed to press.  Let’s say, for example, that I’m playing Madden Football. Before, I would press “A” to throw to the receiver on the left. Now, I press something like the square button and have to look down at my controller to make sure I’m not pressing circle by accident. What’s next? Chinese symbols with a decoder ring for each button?

Secondly, after spending some time at Gamespot, I learned that there is a Sonic game that either came out or is coming out exclusively for Nintendo’s Wii. What the heck? If you would have told me 15 years ago that Sega was going to make a Sonic game for Nintendo, it would have been like saying McDonalds was going to start selling Whoppers.

Next, why are these games so strange? The titles are weird. The characters are weird. The storylines are bizarre. I wonder if there is a secret point system for coming up with the strangest stuff possible. This is some real odd stuff. Also, some of these titles really confuse me. For example, how can it be the final fantasy if there are 13 of them? Liars!

Next, why are the games so bloody? I thought things like players convulsing on the ice in NHL 95 or that sick bone crunch sound in Madden 96 were a bit raunchy. Today’s stuff is out of control. I did a search for the 25 best Playstation 3 games and about half of them were Johnny Shooterman-in-the-face games.  Special props goes to the non-violent game “Flower” which the guy on the site reviewed using these words:

I was immediately moved by the simple purity of Flower. Within minutes of starting the first level, the pristine visuals and ethereal sound design brought tears to my eyes. Watching the many flower petals excitedly waltz through the air was a breathtaking sight and one that I won’t soon forget.

I have to admit, this review seemed a bit over the top in the other direction. In order to feel manly again, I tried playing a teen rated Johnny Shooterman game (about all I can stomach). At first I was a little uncomfortable with the head shots to the pirates. I tried to rationalize it by calling them the bad guys.  But we were all going for the same treasure, which sort of made me a pirate too.  Finally, I came up with a reasonable solution. I figured it was just like Duck Hunt. The only difference is that you’re just shooting people instead of clay disks.

So, I guess I’m a little behind in all this stuff. I’ll figure out where the triangle button is eventually. In the meantime, don’t shoot me.

I’ve been thinking a lot about dead people lately.  In particular, I’ve been thinking about stars who died young, the impact it had on their legacies and which ones I would want to bring back the most.  Here is a list of the top five musicians I wish had seen many more days.

Honorable Mentions:

Michael Jackson: I don’t have much to say about MJ that hasn’t already been written.  One of the most strangely fascinating people I’m aware of.

Karen Carpenter: Like Michael Jackson, another sad ending. She died at the age of 32 from complications due to her fight with a little known disease at the time named anorexia. She sang like an angel.

Jim Croce: Aside from songs about guys like  Slim and Leroy Brown, there is something about a rough looking man singing sad and sensitive songs that is very touching. It’s like he wasn’t singing words.  Rather, he was singing a chunk of his soul.  As a result, more than words came through.

5. Buddy Holly: Died in a plane crash at age 22. Despite only being well known for about a year before his death, he still managed to have a major influence on artists such as The Beatles and Bob Dylan. The song “The Day the Music Died” by Don McLean was about the plane crash that involved Holly. The song “Killing Me Softly” was born out of a reaction to a McLean concert. If you’re tracking, that is an amazing song inspired by another amazing song inspired by the death of Buddy Holly. That is the kind of impact he had.

4. Sam Cooke: In case you’re not familiar with Sam, he sang songs like “Wonderful World”, “Chain Gang”, “You Send Me” and “Bring it on Home to Me”.   Though only 33 at the time of his controversial death, his songs had the sound of someone full of years and experiences.  There was a purity to his voice that makes me wonder why he was never better known.  Just listen to the quality and depth of his vocals in this song for example.  Of all the Oldies singers, he was always my fave.

3. Keith Green: Like the title to one of his albums, this man did not believe in compromise.  He was passionate about finding the truth and then passionate about the truth he found.  He gave away his music for free and deflected the glory and fame he once so desperately longed for. He was outspoken, yet practiced what he preached. Not only did he open his home up to strangers, he purchased additional homes next to his for strangers to live in. I wonder how much he would have mellowed out over the years and whether his mellowing out would be a good or bad thing.  He was such a leader and so different from everybody.  I wish there was someone like him around now – not just for his music, but to help keep people like me in line. I have an incredible amount of respect for this man. There will never be another Keith Green.

2. John Denver: Something about John Denver’s music soothes my soul.  It is so simple, yet so very rich at the same time.  There is a warmth about his music that makes me content with what I have rather than pining away for what I don’t.  In short, his music helps me appreciate nature and slow down.  It also brings up a lot of nice memories.  Lastly, what an effortlessly wonderful voice. If he were a baseball player, he would have the swing of a Rafael Palmeiro, Will Clark or Ken Griffey, Jr.  Smooth.

1. Rich Mullins: I could go on and on about why I love Rich Mullins.  Like Keith Green, he was ruthlessly honest and didn’t feel the need to follow the crowd.  Like John Denver, he helps me appreciate nature, but the praise he brings to the maker of all that beauty is what sets him apart.  He also has some of the most beautiful and poetic lyrics I have ever come across.  Take this opening lines in the following song about the color green for example:

And the Moon is a sliver of silver, like a shaving that fell on the floor of a Carpenter’s shop.

Though Rich died young, single and childless his life was the furthest thing from meaningless.  Even today, his music is a great blessing to those who know about this man.  He also happens to be the biggest influence on my favorite living artist – Mr. Andrew Peterson.  I venture to say that Peterson’s music would not be what it is without Rich Mullins.  Peterson cites the song “If I Stand” by Rich Mullins as a turning point in his spiritual life.  In turn, the music of Andrew Peterson has played a huge role in my life.  As Christ himself remarked, “unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” What a great scripture and what a wonderful thing it is to live a life that positively impacts many for generations to come.

How about you?  Who do you miss?

I did my fifth grade book report on The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  Not having read the books earlier in the series, I had absolutely no idea what was going on.  All I knew is that they were on a ship that was heading for somewhere.  I read the entire series in succession five years ago and, while it finally made sense, I still can’t remember much about this one besides the funny little mouse (or was he a rat?) and this tender scene of transformation with Eustace and Aslan. In anticipation of the movie being released in a little over a week, I figured I would post it here.

The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. but the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don’t know if he said any words out loud or not.

I was just going to say that I couldn’t undress because I hadn’t any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that’s what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and , instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.

But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that’s all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I’ll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.

Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.

Then the lion said – but I don’t know if it spoke – ‘You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know – if you’ve ever picked the scab of a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.

Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off – just as I thought I’d done it myself the other three times, only they hadn’t hurt – and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there I was smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me – I didn’t like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I’d no skin on – and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I’d turned into a boy again.

-C.S. Lewis, The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Last week I asked ESPN’s fantasy football analyst Stefania Bell whether I should start Corey Dillon on Antowain Smith at RB.  This week, I asked Steve Grogan or Hugh Millen at QB.  She seems to be ignoring me.  Incidentially, not sure how many people remember this, but Hugh Millen’s nickname was Hugh-Mill-i-ation.  That’s a tough one.  Next week, it’s Ben Coates or Marv Cook at TE.  Incidentally #2, while New England was the last ranked offensive team in Tecmo Super Bown (Tecmo Rankings), Marv Cook tied for fifth among tight ends.

When I was in High School, I love, love, loved Oldies music.  I liked it so much, I actually taped an infomercial for Dick Clark’s Rock N’ Roll era and watched it over and over.  Who tapes an infomercial?  Me. I did.  I loved seeing the footage and hearing the short clips of the song enough to watch it all .  When I wasn’t doing homework or playing sports, I spent my time in my room listening to Oldies 103.3 while playing Bill Walsh College Football on the Sega Genesis.  Eventually, I knew everything about both. I even made a list of my 76 favorite oldies for my website, to proudly tell the world which ditties I loved most.

I gradually stopped listening to Oldies and playing old video games.  They started making me feel lonely and disconnected from the present. It’s like what one guy said on the Amazon forum about Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection (40+ old Sega Genesis games repackaged into one disk for the Playstation 3).  He made this telling remark about Streets of Rage 2:

The sequel had more of just about everything. More moves. More characters. More varied environments. More music variety. More bosses. The first one also had a sort of wonky hit detection that was never really an issue in the 2nd or 3rd one. I would like to hear your opinion. It’s rare to find someone who cares remotely about these games anymore.

I was thinking of buying this collection of old games, but held off for the same reason I stopped listening to Oldies. I didn’t want to feel lonely and disconnected and invest myself in irrelevancy.  So, I read a little about Justin Bieber and keep up with who is getting voted off of “Dancing with the Stars”. Sometimes, I even put on the radio.

The problem is that most things I know and love are in the past.  Above my head right now is a prized promotional poster of Mr. T and Hulk Hogan from Wrestlemania I.  To my right is a framed photo of Bo Jackson that was huge in 1990.  To my left is Rocky with his arms raised after making it up the steps and in the basement is promotional poster for The Karate Kid. It was the first movie that grabbed hold of my heart as a child. For the next 3 months, I did the crane in my Dr. Dentons. Straight ahead is a framed photo of Manny Ramirez from his days with the BoSox. I can’t even let go of athletes who have left town.

Sometimes, though, other people bring up something in the past that is dear to me.  This is the best.  It means that someone else still cares and thinks about the same things I do.  It takes something forgotten and makes it relevant again.  It might not be relevant to the world, but it is relevant to someone besides only me. It lets me know that I’m not alone.

This happened recently when my friend Curt posted what happens to be one of my favorite Oldies songs on Facebook.  He wrote:

I first heard this song at Roller Village in Fremont, Nebraska, our home town roller skating rink and still can’t hear the song without remembering that association. The harmony is infectious.

I may not have heard this song at the Roller Village in Nebraska, but I can still relate to the associations and memories don’t feel so lonely when they are shared with others. I can’t stop listening to the song he posted. Perhaps it is because it brings me back to a time I never really made peace with.  Maybe it is good to spend a little time in that place again to work out things that were never resolved.  It’s as if Curt was giving me permission.