If the sun does not appear

January 20, 2009 | By | 2 Comments

steven-curtis-chapmanEveryone makes plans when they are young. The teacher asks the kids what they want to be when they’re older.

“I’m going to be a firefighter”.

“I’m going to be a weatherman”.

“I’m going to be a news reporter”.

Of course, there are also plans for who you will marry and how many adorable kids you’re going to have. I’m still figuring out what having “faith like a child” really means, but maybe it has something to do with how optimistic and trusting children are. There might be some kids who think of a life where nothing seems to work out, but I can’t think of any.

I was thinking about the handful of girls I’ve really cared about and how they found someone else and how I still can’t find the right job and I’m getting the sense that life is slipping away from me. Others my age are having children and already have as many as 10 years of memories. I’m not really jealous, I just feel like the student who didn’t get a handout because the teacher didn’t have enough copies. It’s not that I didn’t get a copy because I did something wrong, I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The teacher simply ran out.

It leads to a certain feeling of disconnection from society. You go for a run and see a couple gazing into each other’s eyes and wonder what that must be like. You don’t know how hard it can be to get the perfect Valentine’s Day gift because you’ve never had to try. You listen to a love song on the radio and can’t really relate to the lyrics.

I stumbled across one such song that I hadn’t heard in years. I always wanted to be the one dedicating this song to the girl of my dreams. For a moment, though, I felt as if the song was being dedicated to me. I think about the Levites – the group that didn’t have a share or inheritance among their brothers. Still, the Bible says that the Lord was their inheritance.

Maybe God really does love and care for us as much as He says he does. I’m still not sure how or why, but maybe the fury of His love truly is stronger than we could imagine. His last words were a promise to be with us always – to the very end of the age. His love endures (continues to exist, lasts) forever.

Tomorrow morning if you wake up and the sun does not appear…
Tomorrow morning if you wake up and the future is unclear…

The Lord is my inheritance.

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“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” – Deuteronomy 31:8

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Comments (2)

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  1. Erin says:

    Wow- yet again just what I needed to read at just the right time. I can so relate! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Julia says:

    you are a great writer, Mark! thanks for your honesty…it’s good to know there are others on the journey who missed the handout.

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