When kids go grocery shopping, they make it clear to their parents what they want.  “PLEASE” they continually plead, and “I promise to be good if you buy this for me” they beg.  They want it (candy, toy, etc.) really bad, but only their parents have the power (money) to make the purchase.  Ultimately, they are at the mercies of their parent’s choice.

I’m like this with my heavenly Father.  “Please!”, I beg.  Or, “I promise to be good if you bless me with this certain thing”.  I get frustrated when God says “no”.  I mean, why can’t I have the thing I want?  God owns everything in the world – it’s no skin off His back. ”You don’t care about me!” – I inwardly stammer.  “You have all the power to act on my behalf and just like to frustrate my wishes” – I accuse.  If I’m honest, sometimes my ugly heart says, “I hate you” to God after not getting what is wanted.

One of my favorite songs is “Hold me Jesus” by Rich Mullins.  There is a line in the song that reads, “I’d rather fight you for something I don’t really want, than to take what you give and I need”.  Maybe what I need is a “no” or a “wait”.  Maybe I think I’m asking for a fish but am really asking for a snake (Matthew 7:10).  Maybe God isn’t withholding good from me but keeping me from something bad.  Maybe there will be something better down the road or maybe God just knows what he is doing and I need to trust Him.

Still, I struggle.  I’ve had three major dreams in my life and they’ve all been severely frustrated.  I often feel like God has given up on me and that I blew my chance with Him and lost his love.  He could easily use His power to bless me with certain things I desire, but prefers to be aloof.  He’s either playing hard to get or else I’m a nuisance to me and wants me to go away.  According to Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life”.  It’s hard to believe, it’s hard to trust, and it’s hard to carry deferred hope.

Andrew Peterson has a song entitled “Another Day”.  The lyrics read:

The sun looks down on another day
And I stumble on, and I stumble on through it
So bright, so I look away to another day

And these words that don’t come easy now
I’ll sing inside my dreams…
And the rain falls down on another day
And it covers me, it covers me over
So cold and I wanna stay
But I walk away

And this land that You have called me to
By faith I’ll gladly go
Through this wilderness of trials
To the Promise Land
I’ll known on another day

I’ve wandered down a thousand roads
And now I’m back where I began
I’ve been gone so long
But I’ll stand in your light again

And the Lord looks down on another day
And the waters part, the waters part so wide
So soft, I can hear Him say,
“Don’t you walk away, there’s another day”

The last line, “Don’t you walk away, there’s another day” is my favorite.  Maybe unanswered prayers aren’t a sign that God wants nothing to do with me.  Maybe He still loves me and really does have a plan and purpose for my life.  Maybe His love is stronger than mine and runs deeper than my failures.  Maybe there is a new and better day on the horizon.

“‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD.  ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’” – Isaiah 55:8-9